19 and counting

This road, this journey. I wake up every morning nervous and excited, scared and relieved - 19weeks and counting. To know that all things that happen is mostly uncontrolled - we just wait and pray and hope that this time we will be blessed the whole way through.

7weeks - Sitting in the doctors office 1 week after Christmas being told there is a serious problem and to hear that, once more, crushing news. Knowing that our hopes and dreams of a larger family was coming to a quick and realistic end, what more could we do? This was our last and final try.

12weeks - Sitting in the doctors office knowing the fate that awaited us, knowing the possibility of leaving there with positive news was about 1 in a million. Taking a deep breath and watching, waiting, seeing this little miracle.... we hear the news "Everything looks perfect. I am so sorry. I know I probably put you through hell the past 4 weeks, but it looks like I was wrong...." What are you f-ing kidding me! We are leaving an appointment with GOOD news, what a wonderful and strange feeling.

18weeks - Back at the doctors office waiting for good news again? Could it be possible? Heart, legs, arms, toes, fingers, brain, lungs, kidneys, stomach....all are perfect. Fluid levels? Perfect! Placenta attachment? Perfect! Wait...what is that I see....could not miss it sitting right there between the legs

Now we wait. Each week that passes a little breath is released but knowing that I can not let out that final breath, that final sigh of relief until our little man is in our arms. Half way there....