Sunday, March 21, 2010

Bumble Bee Pugh?....Ummm No!

Ashton is so excited about his baby brother! We have seen the sadness, disappointment and fear in his eyes from before so we really wanted to shield him as much as possible so we decided to wait until 18 weeks and all looked great before telling him.
So we sat him down and told him the news:
Me:  "We have something very important we want to share with you. Ashton, mommy has a baby in her belly."
Ashton: "In your belly?" - Oh how sweet my big belly just looked like it fit in normally I guess :)
Me: "It's a boy. You're going to have a baby brother!"
Ashton: "What?! I am so excited!! Is he going to make it?"
Me: "We think so. The doctor said everything looks perfect."
Ashton: "Oh good! What's his name?" - and there we begin
Me: "We don't know yet.  You want to help us pick a great name?"
Ashton: "Sure! What about Ashton? That's a great name. What about Ayden like my baby brother?....Bumble Bee....Optimus....R2D2..?"
Ashton: "He needs to have four names like me, Ashton Miller-Eliseo Pugh, ok?."

Then last night I was offered another great name by him:
Ashton: "Mom can we name my baby brother Iron Man?"
Me: "What? Sure honey if you think that's best." - in women terms (which he will one day never understand) means - NO
Ashton: "Dad, mom said yes to Iron Man!"
Aaron: "Sweet! Iron Man Pugh" - as you can see dad is not much help either

Seeing the joy, happiness and pure excitment in his eyes everyday he talks about him being a big brother brings tears to my eyes and a soft spot in my heart....but not soft enough to settle for Iron Man Pugh!

We think we may have a name, but lets just wait and see what our little man comes up with next.  Who knows, it could be a another great one!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

19 and counting

This road, this journey. I wake up every morning nervous and excited, scared and relieved - 19weeks and counting. To know that all things that happen is mostly uncontrolled - we just wait and pray and hope that this time we will be blessed the whole way through.

7weeks - Sitting in the doctors office 1 week after Christmas being told there is a serious problem and to hear that, once more, crushing news. Knowing that our hopes and dreams of a larger family was coming to a quick and realistic end, what more could we do? This was our last and final try.

12weeks - Sitting in the doctors office knowing the fate that awaited us, knowing the possibility of leaving there with positive news was about 1 in a million. Taking a deep breath and watching, waiting, seeing this little miracle.... we hear the news "Everything looks perfect. I am so sorry. I know I probably put you through hell the past 4 weeks, but it looks like I was wrong...." What are you f-ing kidding me! We are leaving an appointment with GOOD news, what a wonderful and strange feeling.

18weeks - Back at the doctors office waiting for good news again? Could it be possible? Heart, legs, arms, toes, fingers, brain, lungs, kidneys, stomach....all are perfect. Fluid levels? Perfect! Placenta attachment? Perfect! Wait...what is that I see....could not miss it sitting right there between the legs

Now we wait. Each week that passes a little breath is released but knowing that I can not let out that final breath, that final sigh of relief until our little man is in our arms. Half way there....