2 months...

Wow, Chase is 2 months today and time is flying way to fast.  He is growing like a weed and starting to show his personality. He loves to eat, loves to be held, loves to smile....loves to cry :)  He is almost 12.5 lbs and his once balding head is filling in with hair. He is changing right in front of us. We look at him and see this little miracle, this little guy we thought we would be unable to have, this perfect baby that does not realize how much he means to us and how much joy he has added to our family. Ashton loves his little brother. His eyes light up, loves to hold the "little dude", kisses him every morning and every night. "Mom can my baby brother sleep with me in my room when he turns 3?" He can't want for him to stop crying be able to play and talk.  Time seems to be moving at a faster pace and I am tyring to cherish each day

And we shall call him...

Well, we finally have our new little guys name picked out. Sorry mom, no AJ. Sorry Ashton, no Iron Man or Jet. Sorry sweet husband, no Isaac Newton.  However what is neat is that Ashton did come up with this little guys full name and doesn't even realize it.
We're driving home from work and I mentioned something about Jasen then Ashton came up with another name.
"Mom I have a great name. what about Jas?"
I could not understand what he was saying so I said "Chase?"
"No Jas, like Jasen but not Jasen, just Jas."
"Are you saying Chase or Jas?"
" JAS, not Chase"
"Oh, well not sure about Jas but I do like Chase. What do you think?"
"I don't like it. He's going to get confused. If he's on the playground with his friends and they say "Chase", he's going to think they want to chase him."
Ummm, very logical thinking for a 5 yr old.....

The one name that Ashton was certain of and would not let go of was Jacob.  He really really likes that name and was determined to have that be his name. I do like the name Jacob and actually considered it in the beginning for Ashton's name, but saw that it was the top boy name for years.  I wanted something that was good but yet not so common.  Well Jacob is still once again one of the top boy names and I know that those twilight movies are not helping it fall any faster.

After long conversations with a 5 yr old - he must get his negotiating skills from his mama - we told him he could pick the middle name and mom and dad would pick the first. Deal!

So ladies and gentlemen, our little blessing which should be arriving in less than 4wks is - Chase Jacob Pugh, or as my mom will probably call him "CJ".  We are so excited and I am so ready! Maybe we will get lucky and he will want to surprise us by coming in 3 weeks....well I can always hope!

Bumble Bee Pugh?....Ummm No!

Ashton is so excited about his baby brother! We have seen the sadness, disappointment and fear in his eyes from before so we really wanted to shield him as much as possible so we decided to wait until 18 weeks and all looked great before telling him.
So we sat him down and told him the news:
Me:  "We have something very important we want to share with you. Ashton, mommy has a baby in her belly."
Ashton: "In your belly?" - Oh how sweet my big belly just looked like it fit in normally I guess :)
Me: "It's a boy. You're going to have a baby brother!"
Ashton: "What?! I am so excited!! Is he going to make it?"
Me: "We think so. The doctor said everything looks perfect."
Ashton: "Oh good! What's his name?" - and there we begin
Me: "We don't know yet.  You want to help us pick a great name?"
Ashton: "Sure! What about Ashton? That's a great name. What about Ayden like my baby brother?....Bumble Bee....Optimus....R2D2..?"
Ashton: "He needs to have four names like me, Ashton Miller-Eliseo Pugh, ok?."

Then last night I was offered another great name by him:
Ashton: "Mom can we name my baby brother Iron Man?"
Me: "What? Sure honey if you think that's best." - in women terms (which he will one day never understand) means - NO
Ashton: "Dad, mom said yes to Iron Man!"
Aaron: "Sweet! Iron Man Pugh" - as you can see dad is not much help either

Seeing the joy, happiness and pure excitment in his eyes everyday he talks about him being a big brother brings tears to my eyes and a soft spot in my heart....but not soft enough to settle for Iron Man Pugh!

We think we may have a name, but lets just wait and see what our little man comes up with next.  Who knows, it could be a another great one!

19 and counting

This road, this journey. I wake up every morning nervous and excited, scared and relieved - 19weeks and counting. To know that all things that happen is mostly uncontrolled - we just wait and pray and hope that this time we will be blessed the whole way through.

7weeks - Sitting in the doctors office 1 week after Christmas being told there is a serious problem and to hear that, once more, crushing news. Knowing that our hopes and dreams of a larger family was coming to a quick and realistic end, what more could we do? This was our last and final try.

12weeks - Sitting in the doctors office knowing the fate that awaited us, knowing the possibility of leaving there with positive news was about 1 in a million. Taking a deep breath and watching, waiting, seeing this little miracle.... we hear the news "Everything looks perfect. I am so sorry. I know I probably put you through hell the past 4 weeks, but it looks like I was wrong...." What are you f-ing kidding me! We are leaving an appointment with GOOD news, what a wonderful and strange feeling.

18weeks - Back at the doctors office waiting for good news again? Could it be possible? Heart, legs, arms, toes, fingers, brain, lungs, kidneys, stomach....all are perfect. Fluid levels? Perfect! Placenta attachment? Perfect! Wait...what is that I see....could not miss it sitting right there between the legs

Now we wait. Each week that passes a little breath is released but knowing that I can not let out that final breath, that final sigh of relief until our little man is in our arms. Half way there....